General Update: Native American & Disability Reading Challenge

¬†You may not have noticed that I usually blog about my WIP once a month. I’m going to stop doing that, at least for this month, and announce my new reading challenge.¬†Two months ago I did a¬†Latinx Book Bingo & Prideathon¬†and was happy that I did. But I don’t want to limit myself, plus it’s Native American heritage month. I also realized I don’t read a lot of disability rep, despite having asperger’s and being hard of hearing.

I want to read a popular book for each as well as several lesser known ones. For the popular books, I have chosen:


I’ve heard a lot about all of these, and saw the Me Before You movie before I knew it was a book. I am conflicted about the ableist message in Me Before You that Finn or whatever his name is in this one, Will? I’m like hmmm… Why are you so intent on dying? I experience depression myself, and it’s enflared when I’m bored. Even so, I thought it was a beautiful movie, just not a moral one.

I put in two popular books in case the library doesn’t have one available for a while, and while I reserve the right to read all of them, I’m determined to read one from each, as well as at least half of the lesser known here:


  • Exile and Pride: Disability, Queerness, and Liberation, Eli Clare¬†

  • Mean Little Deaf Queer, Terry Galloway¬†

  • Consumed, J.R. Ward
  • Cinder & Ella, Kelly Oram
  • Love And First Sight, Josh Sundquist¬†
  • A Quiet Kind of Thunder, Sara Barnard

Native American

  • Keeper’n Me, Richard Wagamese
  • When My Brother Was An Aztec, Natalie Diaz
  • Ceremony, Leslie Marmon Silko
  • Hearts Unbroken, Cynthia Leitich Smith
  • Give Me Some Truth, Eric Gansworth
  • The Last Report on the Miracles at Little No Horse, Louise Erdrich

If I’ve listed a book that’s more popular than I realize, please let me know. Also, where are the books with Native American disabled protagonists?


I’m currently reading¬†Vicious by V.E. Schwab and When The Moon Was Ours, by Anna-Marie McLemore. I’ve waited for Vengeful for a good while, since my homeless crisis began shortly before she held a signing event nearby. ūüė¶ So sad I missed it.¬†

It’s honestly been a bit disappointing. I’m still very early in it, so NO SPOILERS, but it started with a cliche, and it skips around in the timeframe. It’s confusing and I have no idea how to keep the events linear in my head. Vicious did it, but it was two linear timelines. Plotwise, it’s interesting, but Victor’s been doing the same thing over and over. I WANT ACTION!!!

I’m almost done with When the Moon Was Ours. It’s different from most of the other books I’ve read. A fantastic different. It has two protagonists, a trans boy and a girl with roses growing from her wrist. I didn’t realize he was trans for several chapters, therein it became interwoven gradually to the point where the plot is based on preventing his outing. The writing is lyrical and dreamy, and hard to describe. I demand that you read it for your own good.

One last thing: if I’m not already following your blog, your twitter, your Goodreads, or your insta, leave links! All of my links are in the sidebar, displayed prominently. I want to follow you! I want to know who I’m talking to.


Daughter Of Smoke & Bone/A Kickass Who‚Äôd Have Your Back-I Heart Characters


I have mixed feelings about this, because I want more insight into the cast of Daughter of Smoke And Bone. At the same time, there were major problems with the plot and flow of writing. I suggest you read DOSAB only if you have nothing better to read. Have you read all of John Green’s books first? When was the last time you reread all of the Harry Potters? Did you read Lani Taylor’s better book, Strange The Dreamer and its sequel, Muse Of Nightmares?

I’m not saying it was a bad book. It just wasn’t heartbreakingly good.

Karou: A human raised by chimera. She wished her hair blue, and spends scuppies on trivial things, to the ire of father/ minotaur Brimstone. 

*Spoilers ahead*

She isn’t devoted to just anyone. She leaves her human friend alone for months, although judging by the amount of time she spends with Mik, might be for the best. She abandons her normal life to find her family, travelling across the world for months.

She has to find them. Brimstone may not be the most affectionate father, but he’s the one she’s got. And who wants a human life anyway, when the one that disappeared has magic?

But it isn’t the magic she’s after, though she takes advantage of it. It’s who she is. Who is she? It’s her family. The chimera put Hope in her. She’ll become hope, and earn her name.

*End spoilers*

Like I said, I had some problems with the book. Insta-love, two dimensional characters, and guessable ending. Here’s what I took away from it:

  • Two traits pulled out of a hat does not make a fully fleshed out character! There’s more to life than wanting to paint and being good at killing. You need to spend time with a character and talk to them before you can write them well.
  • I love the Supernatural vibe. The show and the creatures beyond natural. The war put me in the general headspace of angel-demon ammosity, from the perspective of demons. I want more recommendations for Supernatural-type books! Comment with books below! (I haven’t seen all of Supernatural, so no spoilers)
  • Why the heck is the love so insta?!? This never happens in real life, and I don’t understand why it keeps happening in books. I believe in love at first sight, but it doesn’t happen like this!


I Heart Characters! is a weekly meme hosted by Dani @ Perspective of a Writer to showcase our book blogger love for characters! Post on whatever day suits you, about characters from whatever media you love (books, movies, K-dramas, television, manga, anime, webtoons, whatever!) and link up on the giveaway post ♡

Please put your recommendations below and take this¬†survey¬†I want to get more serious about what I post, since I’ve let it slack for a few weeks. Understandable, considering I am homeless, but I’m in a more stable position at a shelter program, and I want to refocus on things that matter to me.

Why I May Or May Not Join Booktube



Like most millenials, I love YouTube. I spent the past several hours watching Nerdfighters, and I can’t really say why.¬† Just my luck, I get a craving for them just as John Green announces he’s taking a year off all social media except YouTube.

Now, I’m really happy about it, because maybe this will give him the refresher he needs to start a new book, (or let him concentrate on a book he’s already started)

Before I got a Green craving, I was going through Booktube. My first impressions were 1.All of these girls are beautiful and wear makeup, 2. 20 minutes is a little too long for a video, and 3. I WANT TO READ THAT BOOK. (Which is why I’m currently reading Daughter Of Smoke And Bone)

I really want to join BookTube, but it isn’t simple for me. (I’m not sure if it’s simple for anyone.)


  • It looks like fun!
  • More book recommendations! I’ve heard of DOSAB before, but I didn’t hear enough to convince me to read it.¬†
  • Another community that is an extension of the one I’m already in. I’ve heard of Angela Basset, but I’ve yet to watch any of her videos. It felt a little odd and distant whenever someone mentioned her on a blog or twitter.¬† I’ll get to her soon and find out what the hype is about!
  • Media experience! As a journalism major, it would look really good on job apps.¬†My professors have tried to get me more into digital media, but I’ve always preferred magazines. I love magazines! But I recognize that print isn’t a booming industry, so it’ll be good to have something to fall back on.¬†


  • Privacy. This one is major. Everyone knows what JK Rowling looks like and what John Green sounds like. The scary part is that after Reichenbach Falls, someone physically attacked Sir A.C. Doyle to scare him into writing more Sherlock. And while i’m thankful to have more Sherlock, I do not want it to happen to me.
  • Recognition. While I trust a few people in my daily life with my penname, I wouldn’t trust everyone. And yes, I know the probability falls into me remaining on a tiny island of a platform, but it is a chance I have to consider.¬†
  • Overshare. While I have been open about many things, my homelessness, my asexuality, etc., I haven’t shared much with my IRL folks. And some I do want to come out to in the future, and don’t want them finding out via internet.

In conclusion, I want to, but I need not to. I’ve always thought that on book tours or other hopefully someday events that I attend as Brittaina I’d wear a mask and a different style of clothing. While that may seem a bit excessive, I really value my privacy. I can’t afford a mask and new clothes right now. I may in the future.

Sorry to disappoint if you were expecting this post to be a BookTube launch, but I want to someday. Someday, unless I die or an equally catastrophic event happens where it isn’t possible. Someday, I want a booktube channel. Just not right now.

BTW, if you want it to happen sooner, check out my ko-fi and donate, or promote it in ways that you can. I want to do this, but I want to do it in a way that makes me feel safe.


MaSoNaNoWrMo/ Moving On!


I’m maybe, sorta doing Nano this month. It’s a month dedicated to writing 50,000 words, or one novel, in a month. I’ll be working on¬†Stepdaddy‚Äôs Blood¬†and experimenting with memoir. Due to homelessness, I haven’t been writing anything outside of my diary. I can’t link my Nano right now, but I’m BritDMurder6 if you can find me. How do I link my Nano? I’ve seen it done on twitter.

I always thought that I’d just diary write until I die, and then whoever I outlive would go through them an publish what’s consumable. But I’ve been reading a few memoirs lately, and while most of them are by celebrities, it’s a fascinating genre.¬†¬†

I’m still committed to Sepdaddy’s Blood, but it’s been hard. By switching between the two, I think it’ll be easier to keep writing when one runs dry or ¬†inaccessible.¬†



It’s Thursday again, and I’m honestly not sure what to say. For the past few nights, I’ve been thinking out posts in support of the trans community, but as it’s such an important topic, and I need more time to actually write it out than just lie down and think as usual.¬†

Then there’s halloween. I LOVE HALLOWEEN!!! But due to financial and timing difficultes, I haven’t really decided what to do except check out the library shindig. This might even be the first year I’m not…wearing…a…costume.


I’m just posting to say hey, sometimes life is crap, and not the kind of crap that spurrs your writing and scares your therapist. Life right now is the kind of crap where you think you’re getting through it ok, but you start thinking that maybe something is wrong with your body, and your nose starts bleeding, so OH CRAP but you’re pretty sure it’s stress, so you don’t go to the doctor when you went to the doctor two weeks ago and they said you were fine. The kind of crap you need to write down, but it’s not a need so great you overpower your desire to sleep.¬†

Life is crap sometimes, and that’s ok.


Wrap Up: Latinx Book Bingo & Prideathon

Exactly a month ago, I posted Latinx Book Bingo- Prideathon basically I planned to read as much queer &/or latinx books as I could. Of the planned books I read:


Tash Hearts Tolstoy was my first read that had outed ace rep, and I loved it. I’ve (still) yet to read Anna Karenina, Tash’s favorite book that was her life. I love books, I have reoccurring rereads, I fantasize about meeting authors, I have a bloody book blog. Yet I’ve yet to devote as much love as Tash gives Anna Karenina. She adapts AK into a modern webseries that gets the attention of major web superstars.
And her queerness? It’s a little awkward sometimes, like why is she so open about her asexuality? But she has close friends and guys that are into her, so I guess she can’t just not acknowledge sex.


History Is All You Left Me. I preferred They Both Die At The End, since about prepping for death, and HIAYLM is about getting over a death and has sex. Not explicit sex, but constant unnecessary sex. Like, one instance was built up to, and the others were guilt sex.
I love Silvera’s tone of death. It’s what I love about him, it what makes him my gay soulmate. I LOVE HIM OK? I love confronting death, experiencing it, and not shying away.
Undead Girl Gang
I did not like this book. Too clunky, and disappointed how great the book could’ve been. It has a great premise, Mila necromances her dead best friend and enemies. They find out who killed them. The writing trips on its feet.
That’s everything I read from the list. I also read…

It was unsatisfying. I binged in less than 24 hours, so the writing and plot was smooth, but Becky’s specialty is wondering, suspense, and happy fulfillment. Adam’s specialty is DEATH and moodiness. They did not work. They reflected a normal relationship, evolved from an amazing meeting. They made it awkward and normal. Like, COULD SOMEONE PLEASE DIE?
Also not on the list was Ivy Aberdeen’s Letter To The World. I read it during a bad time and wasn’t able to be present for the lot of it, but it was cute! Ivy’s a middle school girl trying ask if her crush is gay while dealing with her maybe homophobic older sister. Also, there’s a natural disaster and their house is totally destroyed. It’s the MG book that was missing back when I was browsing the Children’s Room.
I’m currently reading My Life As A Goddess. It’s a memoir by Guy Braum, a friend of Mindy Kaling. I’ve never heard of him before, but aside from the religious blasphemy of calling himself a goddess, he seems pretty funny.
So I only read 5 books when my goal was 11. I went through a tough time recently, went homeless and can’t really carry around a lot of books, and spend more of my time looking for food. Plus, I read books that don’t fall in the latinx/ pride spectrum, such as Dear Nobody, the true diary of Mary Rose. I’m also reading Vicious, written by the gay VE, and stars the ace Victor Vale, but it’s a reread.
I’m pretty happy with this challenge. I can look forward to reading those other books at a better time instead of binging on a conform diet. I wish I’d read more Latinx, but I also wish I chose something better than Undead Girl Gang.
What do you like about this reading challenge? What do you recommend for it?

Depressive Reading

I’ve been reading. Good books, too. I finished Ivy Aberdeen in a day yesterday. A great gay book. I haven’t read MG in a while, so I was pleased that I didn’t get bored. I stopped reading Boxcar children and Animorphs ages ago, because although I loved them, the language style was too dull for me.

I finally finished reading Undead Girl Gang. Not in a day, it dragged on to two weeks. The story and concepts were fascinating, but there were some minor disturbances in the writing that made it easy to put down. The writing style was a little clunky.

In the midst of the Undead sludge, I quickly read History Is All You Left Me. I love Adam Silvera. I loved the book, all stars, but.

I’m so depressed lately, I can’t bring myself to fully enjoy a book. I know my heart should’ve been affected by History IAYLM, but I couldn’t be present enough to put my heart in there.¬†

I’ve mentioned this already. I’ve recently become homeless. I’ve been staying at a shelter the past four nights. I feel helpless and unknowing. Normally not knowing the future is an adventure. But knowing absolutely nothing, like this, is just scary.

Normally I’m able to put myself in the books, feel the feels, think of how I’d interact with the character. But this is just killing time, reading because the computers are timed out, because I’m not hungry or don’t have food.

And it’s not just depression because things are crap and I can’t do anything at the moment. It’s depression because my brain doesn’t have a healthy level of serotonin. I have a mental illness that I suspect is PTSD, but I don’t have a therapist. I did when I was a kid, but I had to hide how bad is always was because she kept talking to my mum, who always made it about her. So my kid therapist disqualified me from therapy when I graduated high school.¬†

I know I shouldn’t say anything else, but I’m sick of this. I’m sick of hiding. I don’t even know where my mum is right now, because there’s safe shelters for college aged folk, but seniors get kicked out onto the streets, so she went to a safer neighborhood.


I was assaulted when I was 17 years old. It was the summer before senior year. I was walking my dog, when an old man started talking to him. My dog didn’t show his usual amount of affection, which I thought was off, but he didn’t growl or anything. When I say old, I mean ancient. Barely-talk old. I thought he was harmless until he grabbed me with a ridiculous amount of strength. He embraced me so hard I couldn’t breathe. He. Was. Strong.¬†

I pushed away him with my free arm, the one that wasn’t holding my dog’s leash. I pushed, and pushed. He let go, squeezed my boob, and was down the street before I could catch my breath.

I didn’t know what to do. The last TIME that came out detailed #MeToo women coming out against their bosses. If this had to happen to me, I wish it was a boss. I wish it was someone I knew. I wish it didn’t happen at all, but since it did, I wish I had a name and location I could’ve given to the police.¬†

But I didn’t. There wasn’t anything to be done about it, so I stayed silent.

My time is up. I don’t usually get this dark or personal, but I needed to vent.