Letting Go Of Pokemon Go: No Pokemon Mondays

Sunday Night

A minute ago, Ariel Bissett posted a video about going off of social media. She talked a bit about how it rewires the brain to make you addicted to it and takes up reading time.

I was thinking about this for a while in the context of twitter, which I am on for a fair amount, but because of it’s repetitive nature- the same handful of convos with slightly different but basically the same take, I naturally am on there only a few minutes at a time spread throughout the day. My real problem is Pokemon Go.

Oh, how the mighty have fallen. This is a game that I used to make fun of my friends for playing, as Obamaphones were terrible back in the day.  A few months ago I got a new phone from a program on campus, and it is a great phone. Much to my downfall.

I downloaded Pokemon Go for the third time. And it hasn’t crashed once; not when I surpassed level 15, not when I battle Team Rocket. Never. Ok, it has been glitchy lately, but I think it has something to do with the game itself, not my phone.

I play Pokemon Go for hours, every day. Even though I don’t enjoy it. I’ve been very depressed lately- just because I have depression, my lack of real friends, the kitten that I love but reminds me of who I lost. So I put away Pokemon Go in the middle of a walk. And actually started enjoying it. I enjoyed the majesty of the trees, the wind, the quiet.

So I’ve decided: every Sunday night I’m going to delete Pokemon Go, go an entire Monday without it, and reinstall on Tuesday; if I feel so inclined. I will also have No-Catch Tuesdays: I can battle, evolve, and spin, but not catch anyone, even if it’s shiny or something I don’t have. Likewise, on Sundays, I won’t evolve anyone. I already have several Pokemon that I caught today, but won’t evolve until Tuesday. I believe that eliminating certain features will also reduce my time on there and increase the enjoyment when I do these things. I might also instate no battle days, but I’m not sure which day, or if I’ll do battle once or twice a week only. That’s settled: I’ll only battle Tuesdays and Wednesdays. I wish I could spread them out, but i have homework due Thursdays and Saturdays. 


Tuesday Night

 I haven’t redownloaded PG and I don’t want to! I was twitchy yesterday, wanting to grab my phone and open it. It was like a habit: I must do this because I usually do this and it’s the right thing to do. But it faded: I know that I have Pokemon that I can evolve, but that doesn’t mean I should or want to.

Today, I have noticed that I was on Twitter and BG longer than usual. I do want to learn how to take better photos and be better at BG in general, but I should watch it and maybe actively shut it down. Maybe I won’t refresh and limit it to three times a day. 

I know I had this plan all sorted out where I’d just limit, but not eliminate, but I  genuinely don’t want to go back. Maybe I just need a longer break and will come back in a couple of weeks. Maybe I subconsciously hate PG- no, I don’t hate PG. But I do feel very uncomfortable as to how completely it hijacked my brain.

I’m still depressed, but I’m using that time to do other things that bring me excitement. Like starting a gay bookshelf Pintrest board for my future library when I finally have my own place. It’s a small thing, but it gives me hope for the future. And some of the aesthetics is just *wow.*

Now that I’m thinking of Pokemon Go, I want to redownload Pokemon Go, but I won’t let it. I’m stronger than that. 


The following Tuesday 

I didn’t redownload PG until Friday. I was bored, my phone was closer than a book, I played a bit, battled a bit. It’s been like that until today, when I saw that they’d be rewards for Pokemon caught, transferred and great throws.

I won the first two today, but I’m struggling with Great Throws. It sound like they’re throws that make it halfway into the smaller circle, Which is just. Like why, you can catch Pokemon as long as you make it into the first circle. Getting it into the smaller circle increases your chances with stronger Pokemon.

I realize that I sound readdicted. I put the phone down to type this and give my cat a bath- she’s too young for flea meds and downy baths get some, but not all at once. Tips appreciated. 

All in all, I know that too much PG hijacks my brain and I need to have severe limits on it. And I also have a nice new Pintrest board for my future library if I ever get rich. Please promise to buy my books if I ever write it and get it published?  ><

I wonder if it’s good to hope for something as hard to attain as money. Of course, I work hard regardless because it’s a side affect of trauma, but they’re aren’t a lot of well-paid journalists and a trans book has yet to get on the NYT bestseller list, despite Felix Ever After’s greatness.

Sorry for diverting, I’m just trying to focus on other things that bring me more happiness than Pokemon.

What are you addicted to? How do you manage phones’ innate addictability?

Attractive, Stylish, Commanding Spam Comments

I recently clicked on the Spam tab on the Comments page- and it is absolutely freaking hilarious.

Of course, my emotions have been irrational as of late, so I could be wrong. So I decided to share some with you to see what the general opinion is.

Posted on January Wrap-Up///College Update!

“If you are going for finest contents like myself, simply
pay a visit this web site all the time since it offers quality contents, thanks”

 Starting with a more obvious one, if this was from a real blogger, this would be annoying. But the way it’s phrased is unnatural. Real people don’t say “finest.” Most don’t say “Quality contents.”

I love what you guys are usually up too. This sort of clever
work and reporting! Keep up the wonderful works guys I’ve added
you guys to my blogroll.

I am one person writing mini-reviews of gay books. 

Sweet blog! I found it while browsing on Yahlo News. Do
you have any suggestions on how to get listed in Yahyoo News?
I’ve been trying for a while but I never serm to get there!

 No, I don’t. because I haven’t looked at yahoo since 2007. It’s lucky that there isn’t a p in that last word.

There are good ones, I promise. 

What a information of un-ambiguity and preserveness of valuable know-how concerning unpredicted emotions.

This was on TIME Top 10 Songs!, which was about my emotional reactions to the songs. But I wouldn’t say it’s “Valuable know-how” 

Right here is the right web site for anybody who really
wants to find out about this topic. You know a whole lot its almost hard to argue with you (not that I really would want to…HaHa).
You certainly put a new spin on a subject that’s been written about for a long time.
Wonderful stuff, just excellent!

That post was about DNFing books.

I loved as much as you will receive carried out right here.
The sketch is attractive, your authored material stylish. nonetheless, you command
get got an nervousness over that you wish be delivering the following.
unwell unquestionably come more formerly again since exactly the same nearly very often inside case you shield this increase.




I Don’t Know These People!~Statistical Character Test

I recently saw a tweet from Kacen Callender disbelieving that they’d get Dobby as #11, which doesn’t sound bad to me, so I took the test. 

And my #1 was a dude from a show I haven’t watched.


 Rust does sound a lot like me: he’s sorrowful, high IQ, and complicated. I don’t know if I have enough detective in me to watch True Detective- I probably would’ve liked it during the height of my Sherlocked fever. I got Sherlock as my #14, at 80%.

 I also got Mad-Eye Moody at 85%, Brandon Stark at 81%, Darth Vader at 75%, and Gollum at 73%. Doesn’t sound like I’m a real fun person to be around!

 I watched episode 1 for this post, and it could’ve picked up in some places. I do see how I’m like Rust Cohle, but also I’m somewhat softer than Rust. I am known to say things like “human consciousness is a tragic misstep in evolution.” 

 On a side note, the episode also made me think about marriage. It just seems so weird to me, even though I have been so in love that I seriously considered it. But now that that relationship is long over- why would you spend your life with someone? Rust mentions a daughter that died and his marriage couldn’t sustain itself. This happens a lot- obviously I don’t know the details of Rust’s situation from one episode, but I’d think you’d marry someone because your life is better with them in it. Why did Rust and his wife stop being better for each other?

 I don’t think I’ll continue watching True Detective- it did leave unanswered questions, but the style of the show isn’t really my type. 

Anyway, a really cool character I got at 81% was Janis Ian from Mean Girls!


She is by far the coolest character on Mean Girls, so I am shocked. She is rebellious, creative, conspiracist. I believe she took some of the traits that can make people a-holes and make an authentic person who cares about people-within reason. 

Of course, I haven’t watched it in a long while, so I could be off. And it’s way too late to watch a movie- it’s past 10pm when i’m typing this.

 But you know what sucks? Our kind of character is popular in media, but we have a hard time making friends. It’s like we’re a show for them- I constantly feel more like a spectacle and less like a potential friend. 

Anyway, this wasn’t exactly a typical kind of post- I’m in a mood to talk to a friend but that’s kinda difficult right now :/ 

Update: My cat has a growth on his lungs that’s slowly killing him. I have posts scheduled through mid-may but after that, I might be quiet for a while. If you’d like to help with pain and appetite meds, we have a Ko-Fi

Note: My cat has since died.

If I Were Rich: Scholarship Contests


 Coming from poverty, I’d always fantasize about various scenarios about what I’d do with money if I had it. Start a farm, travel, teach. And while searching for scholarships I want to apply to, I think of ideas for much better scholarships. This might be a new series, but maybe just a fun standalone.

Homeless Student Rent Coverage

I would really appreciate it if the dorms just stayed open all the time, but with summers and corona, it’s not always possible. I propose to cover summer/ emergency housing costs for hardworking homeless students. I’d also want some mentors on my team to make sure the students are aware of possible part-time jobs and they have what they need to succeed in class.

School Specific 

 As a hopefully-future alumni, I’ve seen a few classes where the students should be paid for their hard work. In multimedia, students create their own blog from scratch on their desired topic. The student newspaper and magazine reporters could use some motivation to do better. And there’s a dramatic writing class, where students write several short plays and one big one over the course of the semester. So why not give the best writer in each class a little reward that’ll cover their loans for the semester? In my experience, you usually have to take a 2,000-3,000 loan after grants per semester. Relatively cheap, I know, but could be free.

Why I Love The Environment

 This could go for any major, as long as there’s some positive environmental impact in their career. I want to do one that focuses on the environment because few people really take the time to relax and be in nature, or really consider the environmental impact of their daily choices like food and transportation. there could be two categories: a Why I Love The Environment essay and an essay considering what the environmental impact of their future career will be.

(Queer) Books Are Better Than People

As much as I love the bookternet as a whole, I wish there was more focus on queer books. For this award, I’d like queer book bloggers, booktubers, and bookstagrammers in their teens or college years to submit the queer bookish content they’re most proud of. And hey, I may not have any awards to give, but if you have a queer bookish blog, I’d love you to comment the link!

Dear Author

For this, any emotional letter to an author, book, or character will do! You can really see the impact the book had and are some of my favorite posts. But this one will have to come with a list of the author’s books in case it’s not a widely read one.

What are scholarships you’d like to see?


Social Distance Thoughts

So I started playing My Horse Prince, and there’s really nothing to say that Dan and Phil haven’t already said. I’m not sure why, I was bored and saw it mentioned somewhere, so why not? It’s not like I can’t put off that 5 page essay due in 11 days.


I also watched a nice reading vlog from The Book Leo, who basically said “slow down and enjoy reading.” I haven’t been reading for pleasure very much lately, due to the amount of college, but yay, spring break, and the unfortunate move by the school to go online for a month due to COVID-19. It’s not my favourite, because If I wanted online classes, I would’ve taken out no loans to take them through community. Most, if not all, clubs and events have been cancelled, so I couldn’t have a life even if I had the spoons to do so.

I’m 122 pages into Odd One Out, by Nic Stone. It’s really good, there’s a bisexual love triangle! But I do feel like I want to read something unexpected and outside of my comfort zone. I asked for a rec on Goodreads and the most notable recs were Luna and The Long Way To A Small Angry Planet. I already had Anger Is A Gift on my TBR, and quite a few I’ve already read, including Simon Vs and my beloved I Wish You All The Best. I think one person went “What are all of the queer books I can think of?” and rec’d them all to me. Maybe I should make a list like that, but I don’t want to bore you, unless you want me to?

Anyway, I’m mostly just vibing recovering from a panic attack with nothing to do because it’s the apocalypse. I’m really hoping Writer’s isn’t cancelled, and still have hope because the ML hasn’t announced anything, but maybe they thought the school’s email about events shutdown did the trick. It’s a pretty small group of or less than 10 people, that’s usually spread out, so if one of us did have the disease it’d be unlikely to spread in that situation.

I hope you enjoyed something of this post. What are your most out-there queer recs? Would you read an “Every Queer Book I Can Think Of?” post?

TIME Top 10 Songs!

Old Town Road

This song has been overplayed to death, but actually sitting down to watch the video put it in a new perspective. I liked the time traveling element. I don’t like Lil Nas X first beat drop, but it gets better over the course of the song.

Con Altua

This song is a bop! It made me want to get up and dance. It has been a while since high school spanish, so I didn’t really understand much, but the title means with height. I’ll be listening to it again, and practicing my spanish once i’ve calmed down from the beat. 

Welcome To The Party

This has a gravely sort of voice that draws you in with it’s somberness, but by tone of voice the singer is happy. There’s no captions, so I can’t say what it was about, beyond a party.


Ay-Ay-ee this has a good beat, and high self esteem while sharing her juice with others around her. I don’t quite understand the lyrics in the beginning, but you get the gist: the Juice is your natural power, what makes you shine. I like Lizzo’s other songs too, the ones I heard on SNL.

Don’t Start Now

I totally forgot that I listened to it before, which really marks it as a typical ‘f-you to your ex’ song. I think it hits harder during post-breakup time, when you’re trying to get them out of your head. I like New Rules better, it has more of a variation.

Crime Pays

It sounds a lot more pleasant when you can’t hear the lyrics. 

Too Much

I’ve felt like this, that I loved someone way more than was sane too, way more than could ever be reciprocated. It sounds more hopeful than the actual lyrics are. I know I'[ve listened to Rae before, but I can’t recall the song.

So Hot You Hurt My Feelings

The title is apt. The vid has a creepy-hell-gothic vibe, with Caroline dressed as a schoolgirl. The actual lyrics are straightforward, just a girl in a long-distance relationship trying and failing to hide her desire. Whoever directed this needs accolades. It looks like Caroline co-directed this with Matt Copson. 


The beat and her voice make me move- simmer I dare say. But when the boy cuts in all the sudden, it’s a bit of a scare- they go from soft red to dark blue and the guy is basically an arse. I’ll listen to Mahalia solo, she has a pleasing voice, calming.

Crowded Table

Just no. This is about to put me to sleep. If y’all have children you need to put to sleep, sing this song.

So those were hits and misses. I’ll be listening to Lizzo and Con Altua in the future, but my top 10 is drastically different from TIME’s top 10.

Playing Nostalgic Games For The First Time

Ends Sept 30! Get your first Book Of The Month for just 5$ with the code YALIT


Paperboy– I am confused. It seems pretty simple- toss the papers and try not to get hit by a car or taken by a sewage monster.

I have no idea what I’m doing and I keep dying. the instructions say “If you grew up in the 80’s you shouldn’t need additional gameplay instructions.” Well, then. I did not. Did they just memorize the route in 2 seconds? What do the flashing newspapers mean- that they already got their paper, or they need a paper?


Spyro- I cannot figure out the controls! This is definitely a game meant to be played with a game controller, and has difficulty computing on a computer. 

In what I have done, an evil dragon petrified the good dragons and Spyro has to wake them up. There’s also a fairy. I would definitely try this again on  a playstation, but I’m more Atari. 



Oh, Oh, Oh! KILL.

Yeah, I like this game.

The vegan of me says I shouldn’t, but it looks so little like a real centipede that I’m cool with killing it. For reference, I was disgusted by the animated frog dissection in high school.


Crash Bandicoot

If I didn’t just see Dan and Phil play this, I would’ve been so lost. Crash Bandicoot is basically walking through a landmine and you have to jump on all on the unmarked boxes. TNT means it will blow up in 3 seconds, ! means you die instantly. I kept falling off of cliffs and running into !s. As a joke, probably it says W O W  Y O U  D I D N ‘ T   S U C K when I died the last time.

It was fun!

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Let me know if there’s any other games you’d like to hear about! Are you a phannie?