Casting My Vote For Prom King

This is why I hate block editor

TITLE: May the Best Man Win

AUTHOR: Z.R. Ellor

PUBLISHER: Roaring Brook Press

RELEASE DATE: May 18th, 2021

GENRE(S): YOUNG ADULT FICTION–Contemporary, Romance


May The Best Man Win comes out tomorrow! Starring two messy, horrible, adorable boys, MTBMW is a lovers-to -enemies-to -lovers starring Jeremy and Lukas, a pair of exes vying for prom king.

First off, you don’t need to get into an elite college to be successful, and as much as I love this book, I hate that stereotype. At a big, elite college, you’ll have less access to professors and huge 300 person classes. There are a few large classes at my school, but for the most part it’s class discussions and workshops. Maybe something is wrong from a funding standpoint when there’s less than 20 students per class, but it’s great for learning.

But enough of that tangent!

Jeremy is… Well, think of a hormonal, antsy teenage boy. That’s Jeremy. He makes stupid, terrible decisions that hurt his friends. And that’s part of why this book is so great.

We don’t get a lot of realistic teens in YA nowadays. The vast majority of YA protagonists I can think of are bland stand-ins for the reader. Real people aren’t like that. The characters in this book aren’t like that.

Lukas. I love you. I am captain of the Lukas protection squad. I wish he could be prouder of his autism, as I am proud of mine, but his way is valid. He also does some stupid stuff, but there was a situation with a teacher where he dealt with it in a dumb, but valid way. The AP Bio teacher was horrid, and should have been fired.

On top of that, the school in general had terrible policies. But again, what school doesn’t?

In short, if you’re looking for a book about messy teens and it’s queer, this is ya book.

Rep- Jeremy trans + on his first few weeks of HRT. While I could use some more details about the T process, ig I’m not going to get it until I actually go into the clinic and sign up for it.

Lukas autistic. He’s not very proud of it, but it’s normal to have different experiences with it. Although I did get ND vibes from both of them.

BTW, my vote goes to… Lukas! Obviously.

TW: queerphobia and bullying

Z.R. Ellor

About The Author

Z. R. Ellor (he/him) is the author of MAY THE BEST MAN WIN and the forthcoming adult fantasy SILK FIRE (written as Zabé Ellor.) He holds a BA in English Lit and biology from Cornell University. When not writing, he can be found running, playing video games, and hunting the best brunch deals in Washington D.C.. Find him online at

May I just say I am so excited for his next book Acting The Part, which doesn’t come out for a whole year. Yay. It’s “a YA contemporary about a nonbinary actor fake-dating their co-star to save their on-screen f/f pairing.

Do You Like Cake?

Pride Cake w/ Suits

Do you like cake? Do you reeeeaalllly like cake? What do you like about it? The spongy texture of the cake itself, or do you prefer the melting sweetness of frosting?

While we’re on the subject of cake, Two Grooms On A Cake drops today!

The year is 1971, and Jack and Micheal are in love. “There are no recipes for weddings. But there are laws for marriage.” Through a legal loophole, they went on to become the first gay married couple in the US.

I did not know about this. I thought James Obergefell and John Arthur were the first, or at least retroactively after James died. Got to be honest, it’s been a while since I read that case too.

This just highlights how needed these books are. I can’t imagine what it would’ve been like if I read this book as a kid. Two men can love each other so much that one of them goes to law school for years to find a way to get married… #HusbandGoals but also, #SocietyFail.

If you’re wondering what this has to do with cake, it interspaces the gay history with a cake formula! I would never cakebait you.

If you have kids in your life, please make sure they see this! If you don’t it’s still a sweet short read for anyone wishing to learn more gay history.

I was so lucky and thankful that Hear Our Voices Tours chose me as a host!

First Lines Friday!

Hi, this was hosted by a blog called Wandering Words, but the links I found were broken. If you know the site please lmk!

What if instead of judging a book by its cover, its author or its prestige, we judged it by its opening lines?

  • Pick a book off your shelf (it could be your current read or on your TBR) and open to the first page
  • Copy the first few lines, but don’t give anything else about the book away just yet – you need to hook the reader first
  • Finally… reveal the book!

“The Miss Chinatown contestants were clustered together behind a canvas screen near the stage. They hadn’t been there when Lily Hu walked past the same area fifteen minutes earlier on her way to the bathrooms, and there was something startling about their sudden appearance.”

Shall I give you a hint?

I think the first line was quite revealing. Granted, I haven’t read the book yet, but….

It is set in Chinatown in the 1950s.




It is…

Last Night At The Telegraph Club by Malinda Lo!

What was your guess??? LMK!

Am I… Back?

Hi humans, demons, readers, all. You may not remember me, but I used to blog about queer books and queer ships on a weekly basis. My last post aired when the infamous Destiel episode Despair aired in November of 2020. We were so innocent.

I left mainly because of my hatred of the block editor, and stayed left as I got involved in my school’s weekly paper. It was… ehhh. I love writing, but there’s a lot of human interaction and zooms involved. I am leaving the paper for the school magazine, which only comes out once a semester. While there will be meetings twice a week, and I can’t say for sure, but I believe it’s less time consuming. (Please don’t let me regret saying that.)

But I have gotten used to writing an article or column a week. And I’ve been blogging since high school, so I’m used to writing weekly pieces for public consumption.

But there’s also the books and media. When will I have time to read or watch TV while being a junior at uni?

Well, in practice, it’s less that I don’t have time and more that I don’t have a lot of access to books, and limited funds to pay for streaming services. I rotate between Hulu, Netflix, Disney+ and whatever else every month. The local library is currently restricted to the able-bodied and uni libraries don’t have a lot in terms of fiction. My nonfic reading has grown, but I tend to read those at a much slower pace.

So what am I going to blog about? While I have a limited quantity of things to review, I can expand the scope and use a variety rather than a strict focus. My ideas:

  • Book lists- including but not limited to: Recent Reads, Similar Themes, F/F Fridays, Book Club Picks
  • Uni Updates- Classes As Books, Books You Can Find At Uni, Uni Tips For The Struggling Student, Why I Chose My Major/ Minors
  • TV Reactions- Love, Victor, Supernatural Could’ves, and other Queer/fun shows
  • Book Tags!- Playlist, seasonal tags, Netflix Book Tag & more!

I hope you’ll join me in fanqueering!

Supernatural Spoilers!~Destiel

“You are the most caring man on Earth. You are the most selfless, loving human being I will ever know. You know ever since we met, ever since I pulled you out of Hell, knowing you has changed me. Because you cared, I cared. I cared about you. I cared about Sam, I cared about Jack. But I cared about the whole world because of you. You changed me, Dean.”

“Why does this sound like a goodbye?”

“Because it is. I love you.”

This scene has polarizing opinions. On one side, it’s “the most homophobic outing ever.” On the other, it’s a win for Destiel. 

I’m somewhere in the middle. The scene destroyed me emotionally, and there is no doubt in my mind that this was intended romantically. On the other hand, Cass does die immediately after. And it feels more permanent than usual. That doesn’t really mean anything; it Supernatural and they made it very clear what The Empty wants. If we figure out how to put the Empty to sleep, they’ll likely release Cass, as they 1) won’t be conscious enough to torture him and 2) Sleep deprivation is why they hate him in the first place. 

Plus, there’s Ruby. Cass promised to get Ruby out, and while it’s doubtful that he meant the promise at the time, he’ll likely run into Ruby soon.

So… my thoughts? My opinion? 

I’m still open and hopeful. What will likely happen is that Cass will remain in the Empty for the duration of the remaining episodes and be reunited with his family in the end. There’s also been the suggestion that Cass’ body will disintegrate, and his soul will survive in the body of a woman, making it a-ok with the homophobes.

This is just a fan theory, and I will be extremely pissed if they do that. I don’t think Cass’ body can be destroyed while remaining true to canon- Jimmy passed on the body to Cass and has since been through enough to destroy it already if it were vulnerable. Plus, Dean would probably have a hard time believing Cass is Cass in a different body.  

Is this homophobic? Yes. But I believe it has to do more with the timing of the scene rather than the scene itself- would Cass really be so infinitely happy from confessing? Their lives are pretty miserable. I would think it would be in a more content moment- yes, when everyone has expressed their feelings, but also after an apocalypse when he didn’t have the burden of his family’s imminent danger. 

All in all, I’m going to withhold final judgement until after the finale. I already see flaws, but I also see muted potential. Maybe they’ll get Cass out towards the beginning of the finale and we’ll be able to see some romantic scene before it all goes down. Maybe they’ll be a happily ever after montage of gay domestic bliss. I think Dean should pray to Cass and we’ll see it reach him in the Empty- right before they’re put to sleep and Cass is released into the arms of his soon-husband. 

I don’t expect there to be a big on-screen wedding or a huge romantic gesture. I expect it’ll be rather small in the scope of this apocalypse. I’m hopeful that it happens. But I’m tamping it down until everything is released so I can pass a final judgement. 


I wrote this in 4thewords because I felt really moved and needed to express thoughts. But the block editor really freaks me out, so this will likely be a rare occurrence. 

Were My Early Posts Bad?

Ringo Starr on drums

*This is my final post of WordPress. Please!!! go to to stay connected!*

I’m going to be looking back at some of my earliest posts and judging myself. Based on what I’ve already seen, younger me was much better at writing.

Too Tired To Read  is prose (or a diary entry) about the time I almost saw V.E. Schwab. I say almost, but in reality there was no planning and I asked a friend about it last minute and she said nope. 

” I don’t remember what Victor and Eli were fighting about. Was it the creation of a new species? Bringing the dead back? Whose name would go on top of their college thesis?”

I hope I wasn’t serious about the last one. I reread it around the time Vengeful came out, and now I wish I never read Vengeful.

DIE MORTAL I have never taken drugs. Why do I sound high? I need to delete this post from the internet.

Binge Or DNF? Great idea, but these books haven’t aged well. Perhaps I’ll redo it for 2020.

Why are you writing like that when it’s set in modern times?

Playlist Shuffle Tag 

I’d like do do this again and see the drastic change in my music. I used to be really into old Englishmen, and while I still like them my music knowledge has expanded. Although the formatting of this post was terrible.

Overall, I mostly hold that I was a good teenaged writer but sometimes didn’t know what I was doing and didn’t take blogging as seriously as I do now. Blogging through these years helped me grow as a writer and reader- there’s a lot of books I wouldn’t know about if I wasn’t involved in the bookternet, and I still don’t notice some problems until they’re pointed out by other readers. 

*Once again, for the last time, go to to stay connected!*

My Ideal College Book Fair


You remember the scholastic fairs in elementary and middle school? For days the school library would have teachers reading from books, paperbacks and bookmarks for sale. It was the only thing I enjoyed about elementary. I’m bummed that we don’t have them at my university.

So what would it look like? It wouldn’t exactly be age-appropriate to host Scholastic. And it would take a lot more effort since there isn’t a NA version of it.

But given all the resources I could ask for, here’s what it could look like:


Talks By Local Authors & Author Grads

Wouldn’t it be cool to see what someone from the same school can accomplish? Was their setting inspired by real places in town? If it was, we could do a walking tour (or charter a bus if it’s too far.) How did their college experience impact their writing style? They can visit the classes that most influenced them so students can see how the material can be used outside of class. 


Haunted Library (sorta)

Depending on the books and the season, we can decorate the library or other suitable building. If there’s a lot of fantasy books, there’s dragons. If it’s spooky books like Cemetery Boys, it’s a good ol’ haunted house. Inside, there’s cake walks, a dance floor, a jumpscare area, a maze… Just think of the bookish themed possibilities. The cake walk can even have samples of the character’s favorite foods. 

Rave Bookish Giveaway 

We can host a rave/dance party and have a raffle and dance competition. At my school the clubs take this chance to host games off to the side. Games like bean toss, the drinking (not actually drinking, it’s a school event) game, and….

Dammit, corona’s messing with my memory. In short, the clubs can be given copies of books or merch as prizes for the games. Bonus if it’s related to the club! Ex Check, Please! for fencing, With The Fire On High for cooking…. You get the gist.

 I think corona’s really making me miss the full college experience. Even tho I’m extremely anti-social, I miss having friends to go out with. I don’t really have friends anymore, as I left school for a while and came back shortly before a pandemic. Things got really weird with my old friends and now I’m really sad. I do have friends at home, but I can’t see them for another two 1/2 years. 

Anyway, what are your bookish fair ideas? 

The Best Of F/F From 2019!

This was an old draft that I didn’t get done in a timely manner. But who cares, it’s F/F, it’s recent and counts as backlist.

F/F Friday/// Tarnished Are The Stars

I mostly remember Tarnished by it’s aroace rep in the form of the prince, who is trying to kill the other MC for using technology to gain the approval of his father. F parents. 

be gay. Do Crime

F/F Friday: Amelia Westlake Was Never Here

I really should do more F/F Fridays, shouldn’t I? I enjoyed A.W. for the pranks, and how it portrayed different kinds of f//f romance. It’s really important to address relationships that are emotionally abusive but not what you might typically see as abuse.


My Beloved Carmilla

I just love her so much. And she deserves more than Laura, she deserves someone who will love her as the bloodthirsty vampire that she is. Someone like me. 

The Feminism Of Juliet Takes A Breath

This was a really informative book that touched on a lot of different ideas surrounding “universal feminism.” 

Goodreads TBR Hop 2: F/F

I’ve only read two of these…

download (4)


Ahhh Merlin’s so gay. I really wish that more Arthurian retellings would step away from what’s supposed to happen and what could happen. There’s a super queer version in Once And Future, but ti still sticks to the legend. 

Portraying Toxicity in F/F Relationships: Reading Jordi Perez And Laura Dean

A great look into these two. I really enjoyed Laura Dean, but honestly don’t really care abt Jordi Perez. 

What were your fave f/f books from last year? Or ever? 

Due to…changes, I switched to Wix! In the future, please subscribe to to stay connected!

Stuck At Home Book Tag!

Oh gods, what do I do with my life?

  • Thank the person who nominated you (no one ever nominates me)
  • Answer all the questions down below
  • Pingback to the creator: Ellyn @ Allonsythornraxx
  • Nominate 5+ bloggers you’d like to know more about, to do this tag

1) What are you currently reading?

I actually just finished a rather poor comic of Venom and am rereading Cemetery Boys before the release. I normally read several books at once, but for some reason, I’m just not. I really should pick up another book so I don’t get all lost and confused upon finishing each book.


2) What’s your favourite ‘can’t-leave-the-house’ activity?

I’m going to be predicable and say blogging and staring at my cat. She’s really cute, but don’t tell her that.

3) A book you’ve been meaning to read for forever

All of them? But also 

Summer Bird Blue

I really want to finish this before summer ends, for obvious reasons. I’ve loved the (few) other books with ace protagonists that I’ve read and I feel ready for a book about grief.

4) An intimidating book on your tbr

Eh, I tend to avoid intimating/ big books despite reading big books being one of my challenges for this year. But Under The Rainbow seems intimidating because it’s about queer people moving to a very homophobic town. It seems to have some mixed reviews and an unrealistic optimism. I’m interested, but skeptical.   

Under The Rainbow

5) Top 3 priority books on your tbr

I’ve already mentioned CB and Summer Bird Blue, so the others would be: 

Every Heart A Doorway, How To Write A Damn Good Novel, A Beautifully Foolish Endeavor

6) Recommend a short book

I finally get the chance to rec The Carol Ashton series. It follows an adult lesbian detective in Australia, the first book being an investigation into a high school teacher’s death.

7) Recommend a long book

May I cry now? But fortunately  for me, The Complete Sherlock Holmes is a staggering 1796 pages, broken up in two volumes, but GR counts it as one. If you don’t feel like a collection counts (boo) there’s also Wolf Hall at 600 pages. It follows Thomas Cromwell, one of the people Henry 1V killed. (It’s been a while, ok)

8) Something you’d love to do while stuck at home

I don’t love doing anything except staring at my cat. I enjoy writing once I get into the flow, but it’s hard to get into the flow!

9) What do you plan on reading next?

I really hope that An Absolutely Remarkable Thing comes in the mail soon so I can read the sequel! I got them both on sale at the same time but for some reason ABFE came separately and earlier. 

Welp, you’re tagged! What do you think of these books? What are your answers to the questions? *Please fill out this short survey!*


I Match my Classes With Books- Pt 2!

 At the beginning of last semester, I posted I Match My Classes With Books!, which I now believe to be somewhat off. Environmental Policy was nowhere near as fun as Dirk Gently and I actually changed my minor to Natural Resources because of it.

So, my tentative schedule, tentative due to corona and the uncertainty that comes with it, is:

Magazine Production

I don’t know what’s going on with this class, as it’s the only production class scheduled online due to corona. My uni is taking a hybrid approach for now- most classes are online except for science labs, dance, and the like. The newspapers are counted as labs, but the ‘zine isn’t. A bummer.

I’m coming up with such a blank for this. Obviously there’s Ugly Better, but this is supposed to be about books! Maybe Hearts Unbroken

American Government

*sigh* The wonders of General Ed. This is self explanatory- some stuff about politics and the branches of fed. government.

Red, White, And Royal Blue

The class may be repetitive and dull, but the book sure isn’t! Alex and Henry’s story- asides from being an international relationship in of itself- is filled with fascinating snippets of queer historical figures such as Hamilton and Virginia Woolf.

“You should not have taken advantage of my sensibilities to steal into my affections without my consent.”

Investigative Reporting 

This is the advanced version of Beginning Reporting, which I really felt unchallenged by. I’m hoping this class will be up to my hopes; a, in-depth crash course on How To Interview.

So maybe another place to put Hearts Unbroken… There’s also the MG Cub

Cover of Cub. Blond girl in orange dress holds notes against blue newspaper background


Um, yeah. Just a general overview of human sexuality that I have to take three semesters of to count towards my minor.

A Quick And Easy Guide To Queer & Trans Identities + A Quick And Easy Guide To They/Them Pronouns

This is more gender based than sexuality based, but it is an educational look at what these identities are and tips on how to use pronouns properly, and WHY these are important.

Public Relations

PR is not my concentration, but I decided to take the class because a lot of jobs require some PR work. I know nothing about it. I know it has to do with publicity and representing your company to the outside. 

Books Brightsiders and Queens Of Geek by Jen Wilde

Queens Of Geek

Charlie has a lot on her plate. She’s a popular youtuber who has to attend comic-con with her horrible ex. Charlie is bisexual- a sexuality that’s misunderstood and misrepresented by the media covering her. When she kisses her girl crush on-camera, and accidentally uploads it- chaos ensues. And I have to mention her co-protagonist Taylor, who’s just a super geeky and relatable autistic character for aspies everywhere.