A Heartbreaking Post Of Staggering Genius

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(Trigger warnings, graphic cancer details, anxiety and suicide. This is not meant to reflect my writing style or ideas, but a full imitation of Dave. Also, this is the ’90s and does not reflect the current housing market.)

A Heartbreaking Work Of Staggering Genius, Dave Eggers, 1995, 9/12

 Hello, dickheads.

 You will rot the wood from under my feet. You will cut the strings off the giant Jesus and let it fall on my head. You have given me AIDS, probably.

 But I’m still going to perform frisbee tricks with my little brother. When you take him to a foster home, I will bust him out and we’ll fly like falcons. We’ll let the air scream our feathers back, all the way back, balding us.

 When Chicago rids us of our parents with cancer, we go to Berkeley. When Berkeley kicks us out, we drive to San Francisco. When San Francisco gets dull, we fly. We fly! All the way to New York!

 You have but a Sad Role to play in the book of my life; the suicidal friend, the helpless little brother, but I will always be sadder! For I am the Sad Adult-ish Orphan Parent Stand-In For Little Brother! No, I don’t have proof. And you will pity us! 

 We fly!

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Happy (Belated) Sherlock Holmes Day!

  Happy belated Sherlock Holmes Day! (Ok, I had no idea that there was a SH day until yesterday. Now it’s my third favorite holiday, after Halloween and Free Comic Book Day. Hey, it tops Star Wars Day.)

 Let’s talk about our favorite, underappreciated Sherlock  Holmes stories. My all-time favorite SH story is The Speckled Band. It starts with a young girl hiring Sherlock and Watson to find out what happened to her sister, who died terrible agony. “The band! The speckled band!” Were her last words. It’s awesome, but has not been turned in a full length episode. In the BBCbatch version, it is mentioned as “The Speckled Blonde” but spares the details.

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 I deduce it’s one of Gatiss’ favorites, but was shot down by Moffat.

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 Will I be shot down for admitting I prefer Charles Augustus Magnesun/Milverton to Moriarty? He’s better, creeper, and more love-to-hate than Moriarty. Even when Sherlock says his name, he sounds better. Moriarty exists just to kill Sherlock. CAM exists to blackmail everyone. Moriarty is the what-if of Sherlock: Sherly reversed. CAM has his own disgusting personality and could exists without Sherlock.

And posts from around the blogsphere:

Ready Player One: Geeky Things I’ve Yet To Get To

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If you follow this blog, you know most of the things I’ve read. Yet there’s so much geekery out there that I’ve yet to get to, as RP1 bases its existence on to prove. It’s not The Almanac (Read the book) but here’s just a few things on my to-do list, geek version.

Ladyhawke It’s a fantasy/ fairy tale movie from 1985. It’s supposed to be awesome.

Prometheus I love Alien and it shames me that I haven’t seen it yet! To be fair, it’s the only Alien movie I haven’t seen yet.

Indiana Jones It’s never really interested me, kinda because of the episode where Amy tells Sheldon about a plot hole and ruins it for the whole gang.

Zork- I really want to play it! I just don’t know where to find it w/o spending money.

X-Men- Meh, just why? I love The Avengers, Guardians, and the rest of the Marvel universe, so why add more?

Wonder Women tv- I saw the recent movie and liked it. I’m curious about the old show, but don’t feel a pressing need to watch it.

WarGames- It looks kinda weird. It’s a movie about a hacker from 1983.  IDK about it until I read RP1.

Clone Wars- I don’t really understand why this exists bc everybody hates the prequels.

Green Lantern- The BB episode was funny, but see x-men above. I got excited bc for a second I thought it was Green Hornet, as I saw part of the movie in a class and liked it, so….

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Batman v Superman- Everybody said it sucks and it’s DC.

Supaidaman- A Japanese android spiderman, you bet I’m curious. 

Misfits Of Science- I don’t know. Is it good?

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 Some of this stuff I’ve only found out about in RP1, and know next to nothing about. There’s other stuff in there (There’s A Lot of stuff in there) so I plucked out what seemed most interesting/ raved about, but if there’s better stuff please comment!

The Return Of Sherlock Holmes, pt.2

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(You can read pt. 1 here)

The Adventure Of The Six Napoleons– Yeah, seems obvious when you’ve seen the series. Yeah, murder. Ideal portrait of a journalist, unlike the scavengers usually portrayed.

 The Adventure Of The Three Students– Ah, that the very thing that plagues me should be shoved into the Sherlock collection- college. Getting in, exams, dorms, etc. A nice change from the usual running ’round and a very simple solution, or would be, if given all the facts available to Sherlock, instead of waiting with Watson.

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 The Adventure Of The Golden Pince-Nez– Unusual, yet has ordinary features, a combo that made the solution partly accessible. 

 The Adventure Of The Missing Three-Quarter– As always, the mystery can be solved not by the present, but the secrets of the past. It’s strange that Holmes didn’t have a case involving sports before, as today’s sports have a great deal of scandal.

 The Adventure Of The Abbey Grange– It’s a wonder why Hopkins hasn’t appeared on tv. More of the same. I s’pose Doyle was really tired of SH by then. I love the ending, where Watson is Jury and Sherlock judge.

 The Adventure of The Second Stain– Why The Hell Didn’t They Burn The Letter? Cute ending.

  So. What’s your favorite Sherlock story? Have you seen the Moffat series or RDJ movies?

 

The Return Of Sherlock Holmes, Pt.1

 

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The Adventure of The Empty House– It’s brave and unusual for Watson to admit that he fainted; usually women are portrayed as the fainters in their time period.  And what happened to Mrs. Watson?

The Adventure Of The Norwood Builder– One of the more dramatic and thorough cases, beginning with the accused murderer bursting into Baker Street. Fire, murder, blood!

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The Adventure Of The Dancing Men– The opening is more Poe than Doyle. The wife of the client is Modern Mary-esqe, with a secret history and possibly being a foreigner. The hieroglyphs seem more exotic than American. Is that how the English think of us?

The Adventure Of The Solitary Cyclist– Why do so many men fell in love with this woman? So stalkery.

The Adventure Of The Priory School– Every series must have its’ dull moments, I s’pose. But how did the boy actually feel about this?

The Adventure Of Black Peter- Ugh, good riddance! Bit of a plot twist, though it should’ve been obvious.

Adventure Of Charles Augustus Milverton– The creepy descriptions did not disappoint, although the solution  did. While my favorite Sherlock villain and an awesome SH story, is not better than The Speckled Band. Show was better. I love that Sherlock doesn’t always work with the police.

April Wrap-up

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The Bookshop On The Corner, Jenny Colgan, 7/12 333 pages genre-romance

Written slowly, read quickly. It was quite obvious who she’d end up with. It’s loosely based on Pride and Prejudice, but doesn’t mention it in the numerous book references. Scotland is described nicely. Good for rainy days.

End Of Watch, Stephen King, 9/12, 482 pages horror/mystery 

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 Not very scary, coming form the King of Horror. Even though I haven’t read the first two in the series, I could follow it as a single, but not separate, story. Telepathic powers reminded me of Carrie. I loved the use of the song; By the sea, by the sea, by the beauutiful sea… Simple words, terrifying power. Good if you kinda want horror or mystery,  but soft on both ends.

Ready, Player One, Ernest Cline, 12/12, 581 pages, sci-fi/ dystopia 

 

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LoveLoveLove!!! I wasn’t expecting to like it for some reason, so glad I ignored that ridiculous prejudice.  Wade, poor and wanting to escape poverty, hunting for the Easter Egg because he loves gaming and wants to be rich. Who needs a better reason  to do anything?! I kinda wish I knew more about ’80s culture to understand more references, and that it would be funny if they parodied it to be obsessed with ’60s culture instead. Read. Read, tiny humans.

Bard Of The Deal: The Poetry Of Donald Trump, edited by Hart Seely, 6/12,212  pages humor

Funny-not funny. Some of the stuff Dump has said has serious consequences for america. But he’s so stupid and words things so stupidly! Seely arranged the quotes to say what they mean, “There is potential.                                                                                                                            Racism.”                                                                                          Funny, depressing if you think about it, but if you let go, funny.

The Art Of The Book Proposal, Eric Maisel, 7/12, 273 pages, nonfic writing

Some kicks in butts to do something about that book lying around. I didn’t find most of the last chapters useful, as it was directly aimed at nonfic writers, but part of the early stages are similar, some exercises useful.  

Franny And Zooey, J.D. Salinger, 10/12, 201 pages, fiction 

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Earned several points with just the mention of Yorick’s skull: “At least I’m still in love with Yorick’s skull… if you don’t know what kind of skull you want when you’re dead, and what you have to do to earn it…” (Pg 197) Aside from it being a mention of Yorick’s skull, it cleared up the circular argument of the book- what praying means/ is, the flakiness of people- by saying “To hell with Jesus, what do you want?”

 

Love For Notebooks

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 The worst thing you can do to a writer is steal her notebook. Persons of other professions, including teachers, seem to think notebooks are a convenient, use-by-use, disposable items that have no meaning no matter who owns it.

Notebooks are important!

 Filled notebooks are the past, empty notebooks are the future, some planned, some without any idea of what it will contain. It’s a communion with your subconscious, with the Muses, with Apollo. With others, depending on what you write.

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 Like the TARDIS diary, I have exactly the amount of pages I need. Once a year or so, I get more, but during the year I am content with the blank pages, though not always with the full. When I type out my stories, I make corrections, add little ideas. But if it’s a notebook only, like my diary, I skim through the past content, amused, embarrassed. Notebooks, like the TARDIS, is a way to travel through space-time.

  I love notebooks! Not just the use of them, but the smell and feel, too. I love that a private notebook is physically different from an academic notebook, and different from a professional notebook filled with stories, or a single, continuous story that doesn’t seem to have a concrete end, or repeats itself to find a better way to express an idea.

 I’d better stop now, or I might not stop before the allotted time. What of your love of notebooks, of books? How would you describe their importance?