Supernatural Spoilers!~Destiel

“You are the most caring man on Earth. You are the most selfless, loving human being I will ever know. You know ever since we met, ever since I pulled you out of Hell, knowing you has changed me. Because you cared, I cared. I cared about you. I cared about Sam, I cared about Jack. But I cared about the whole world because of you. You changed me, Dean.”

“Why does this sound like a goodbye?”

“Because it is. I love you.”

This scene has polarizing opinions. On one side, it’s “the most homophobic outing ever.” On the other, it’s a win for Destiel. 

I’m somewhere in the middle. The scene destroyed me emotionally, and there is no doubt in my mind that this was intended romantically. On the other hand, Cass does die immediately after. And it feels more permanent than usual. That doesn’t really mean anything; it Supernatural and they made it very clear what The Empty wants. If we figure out how to put the Empty to sleep, they’ll likely release Cass, as they 1) won’t be conscious enough to torture him and 2) Sleep deprivation is why they hate him in the first place. 

Plus, there’s Ruby. Cass promised to get Ruby out, and while it’s doubtful that he meant the promise at the time, he’ll likely run into Ruby soon.

So… my thoughts? My opinion? 

I’m still open and hopeful. What will likely happen is that Cass will remain in the Empty for the duration of the remaining episodes and be reunited with his family in the end. There’s also been the suggestion that Cass’ body will disintegrate, and his soul will survive in the body of a woman, making it a-ok with the homophobes.

This is just a fan theory, and I will be extremely pissed if they do that. I don’t think Cass’ body can be destroyed while remaining true to canon- Jimmy passed on the body to Cass and has since been through enough to destroy it already if it were vulnerable. Plus, Dean would probably have a hard time believing Cass is Cass in a different body.  

Is this homophobic? Yes. But I believe it has to do more with the timing of the scene rather than the scene itself- would Cass really be so infinitely happy from confessing? Their lives are pretty miserable. I would think it would be in a more content moment- yes, when everyone has expressed their feelings, but also after an apocalypse when he didn’t have the burden of his family’s imminent danger. 

All in all, I’m going to withhold final judgement until after the finale. I already see flaws, but I also see muted potential. Maybe they’ll get Cass out towards the beginning of the finale and we’ll be able to see some romantic scene before it all goes down. Maybe they’ll be a happily ever after montage of gay domestic bliss. I think Dean should pray to Cass and we’ll see it reach him in the Empty- right before they’re put to sleep and Cass is released into the arms of his soon-husband. 

I don’t expect there to be a big on-screen wedding or a huge romantic gesture. I expect it’ll be rather small in the scope of this apocalypse. I’m hopeful that it happens. But I’m tamping it down until everything is released so I can pass a final judgement. 


I wrote this in 4thewords because I felt really moved and needed to express thoughts. But the block editor really freaks me out, so this will likely be a rare occurrence. 

Team Free Will 2.0 Supernatural Book Tag!

There is, in fact a SPN book tag- but it leaves out Jack? How do you leave out Jack? So I made a new and (hopefully) improved SPN book tag!


  • Link to the original post (this post)
  • Do not spoil season 15
  • Destiel is canon


Dean Winchester: The Tough Dad- A book that was emotionally difficult to read

Castiel Winchester: The “Talk” Dad- A book that explains a difficult concept 

Sam Winchester: The Supportive Uncle- A book  that leaves you feeling energized 

Jack Klein-Winchester: The Devil’s Cinnamon Roll- A favourite book you expected to hate OR a naive yet powerful character

Destiel: The Ship That Married Already- A book with the overdone trope(s) you love

The Bunker: Home- A book you’ll always return to

Lucifer: The Lost Devil- A book series that lost its way

Beer: High Tolerance- a “guilty pleasure” book/ series 

Pie: My Pie- A book you’ll never let a friend borrow

Impala: Baby- A book that got you through hard times

My Answers:

I saw a lot of myself in If We Were Villains. And if you’ve read the book, you know it’s very painful: slow burn gay panic, living pretending you liked a guy you hated so that they don’t suspect that you killed him, drowning in a cultist fandom.


I don’t talk a lot about THUG, not because it’s not a great book, but because it’s hard. Her friend dies in front of her, she can’t trust the authorities, and that’s on top of going to a mostly white school. Angie Thomas is a fantastic writer who can take difficult concepts and pour it over you.


Everything leads To You was the last book to make me almost cry with happiness. Mystery leading to mystery until you accept that some answers will always lead to more questions and it’s ok to let go. There’s also a slow burn that makes you scream in relief when it finally ends, and girls managing the start of what could be successful careers in film.

likelucyTripped up by my own tag…

I don’t normally go in expecting to hate a book, unless I have to read it and I know that it’s not a book I’d pick up myself.  I did force myself to read all of the To All The Boys because once I started it was annoying to not finish when it wasn’t that bad. I personally found the third one to be the best one, because yay  no love triangle.

For a naive yet powerful character (which I put in when I recognized the fallacy of reading a book you expect to hate, unless you’re an English major or a trashy book reviewer (which is fun to witness but I don’t want to put myself through that.)) SAMWISE GAMGEE!!


If you hadn’t guessed my favourite tropes are slow burn, hopeless gays, and found family. I’m gonna make a stretch an say The Picture Of Hopeless Gay, AKA Dorian Gray. It’s been a solid 2 years since I read it, before I even knew I was hopeless gay, and my opinion of it has only grown fonder.  

I really should reread it.


I know the Impala has been our home longer, but it’s such a relief to have the Bunker- a place to actually rest, eat food, read, without worrying about where we’re going next or driving away from a thing. 

Harry Potter. My book home has always been, is and will be, Harry Potter. It’s the book my sister read me to bed every night, it’s the book I found solace and connection in when I was lonely, It’s a book that I’ve always loved and will love and no amount of bashing from JKR will ruin that for me.


The first thing that comes up is The Life And Death Of Sophie Stark. It’s a sad book about the all powerful filmmaker Sophie- who sacrifices everything for her art. She dates a girl in one of her films and puts her in a bad spot. She disappears for a while. There is a lake. 

Maybe I should put a time limit on these books because I’m bad at describing them. But I remember the feeling of being near Sophie, but never actually being her. There’s multiple POVs but never has hers. People know and love her, but never fully understand her. *This is an adult book

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I know- its all reading. It’s all guilty pleasure. I’m proud of my guilty pleasures. 

But there’s something about manga that makes it feel extra guilty. It’s a valid form of reading, but they’re so easy to get through in a single setting. I think the guilt also comes because I used to read a lot of Boy’s Love when I was younger. “Straight girl” younger. 

There are so many “Wow that’s gay” moments I’m having.


I’m not actually that touchy- if I love a book, I want other people to read it. If I don’t love a book, I try to find someone who will.

But I think what I’m most touchy about is a series that has been lost forever- the copies of Harry Potter that were hand me downs. They had meaning beyond what was in the books- I have memories of reading them with my sister. I remember buying the later books. I know they were old, but they had memory. 

And my bloody mother went and replaced them. 


When I first got to college, I didn’t know where to find fiction books, so I’d borrow my roommates’. John Green and Nicola Yoon. I read Looking For Alaska and TFIOS before, but my library didn’t have An Abundance Of Katherines. I later bought Turtles All The Way Down. I probably never would’ve read Nicola Yoon if my roommate didn’t have them; I’d never heard of her and she’s not as talked about as she should be. I devoured Everything, Everything, and The Sun Is Also A Star over a weekend. I had so much book thirst.

I hope you join in! You, every last one of you, is tagged!

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Supernatural Book Tag!

 My name is TanyX Winchester, and I love Supernatural. Not so much the latter seasons, but like, in the days when Destiel were free to declare their love for each other in the pit of purgatory. I don’t understand why their wedding wasn’t televised, but their happily married selves have settled into a “no-homo” camouflage situation, and while I understand the need to hide from homophobes, you guys can be yourselves at home. And yet, you don’t seem to know that. 

ANYWAY there’s a really old SPN book tag,  made before Jack’s time. Let’s do this!


The Colt: If you could own a fictional item, what would you choose?

I don’t particularly want any of the Deathly Hallows, so i’m going with a series I had a difficult relationship with and broke it off: the sword pen from Percy Jackson. You could kill someone and no one could find the murder weapon, and carry it with you always, like pepper spray. V convenient, as long as you didn’t mistake it for an actual pen and stab your desk.


The Impala: If you could own a fictional vehicle, what would you choose?

The TARDIS! I know, I should choose the actual Impala. But the TARDIS is more practical. She doesn’t need anything; as long as you love her and land on a ley line once in a while, she’ll love you back. She’s an entire house, pool, wardrobe, time and space machine all in one!


Crowley: a villain you love to hate

I love so many villains it’s hard to find anyone except Umbridge that I hate. I hate pink, I hate it when teachers abuse their power to torture students, and i hate the third grade teacher that she reminds me of. I hate this question because answering Crowley with her taints his evil name. I love Crowley; genuinely love him, and I don’t want his image associated with the likes of her.


Sam & Dean: Two characters from different books that’d make a perfect team to fight evil

I don’t usually think about crossovers! Sherlock and Data! Data loves the old Sherlock stories and usually spends his free time playing Sherlock on the holodeck- but what would it be like if Data and Sherlock worked together, instead of Data playing as Sherlock? It would let both of their humanities show as they try to work out a crime of passion, rather than relying on themselves to make logical deductions. 


Destiel: Two characters from different books that’d make a perfect couple 

Again with the crossovers! How about Dimtri from Vampire Academy and Edward from Twilight?

Bobby: Your favorite fictional mentor-figure 

Lupin! He was the best Dark Arts teacher and really allowed his students to grow and enjoy themselves.


The Angel Tablet: One Of The Best Books You’ve Ever Read

If We Were  Villains!

The Demon Tablet: One of the worst Books you’ve ever read

Hmm… I really believe in DNFing books if you don’t enjoy it, but the book I was forced to read? ROMEO AND JULIET. This could be the way it’s taught, that this is a serious piece of literature, and not the satire that it actually is.  Still not going to reread it.

Shapeshifter: A book with a better cover in a foreign country 

I don’t actually pay that much attention? But after some research, I think the Dutch and Italian versions of Leah On The Offbeat are prettier. I also don’y like how the American versions of the other two in the semi-series have the same blue and red palette but Leah has a slightly different shade. I want consistency! 

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Hunters: A character you’d love to hunt 

Laura Hollis must die. I love Carmilla, respect that she’s killed people and hopefully will kill people, and would be willing to give her my blood whenever she wants. Laura Hollis is nothing but a bigoted human that only cares about her fantasy of Carmilla, and not Carmilla herself. 

Chuck: A book you guessed the plot twist or ending to

I remember Uglies being really predictable when I read it in middle school. I still loved the series, but the MC could be really dumb.


Cass’ Trenchcoat: A book that looks much better without it’s dust jacket


I’m sure there’s special editions and things, but why.

Carry On My Wayward Son: Put your playlist on, what book does that song remind you of?

Lucky Strikes by Troye Sivan. Aristotle and Dante Discover The Secrets Of The Universe (which is getting a sequel!!!) They’re both set in the summer and are full of gay longing while your love interest is right there.

Charlie: Your ultimate fanfolk moment thus far


I sit at computer and blog about books. Not fanfolk moment, fanfolk life.

I do think I have a tendency to talk about the most obscure fandom to the wrong people. When I first moved into college, I asked my dormmates if they wanted to see a viewing of Serenity and no one knew what Firefly was. I  defended Loki against my pro-Captain America friends. A guy climbed up the walls to show off his parkour or whatever and I called him Spiderman. There were a few days when I was obsessed with cass’ trenchcoat and asked everyone why he never takes it off. 

I swear I’m asexual.

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I tag you! What do you associate with Supernatural? 

A Mother I’d Like During The Apocalypse


Women don’t spend a lot of time on Supernatural, as any female love interest is automatically scorned by Destiel, Sabriel and *shudder* Winchest shippers.

 BTW, there’s more ships, and a lot of incest, and I wish I didn’t have to look up Sabriel’s name, despite low-key shipping them.


And yes, I ship her with Bobby. The wikipedia doesn’t list their ship name- Jobby? Bobdy?Body?

Don’t look up that wikipedia page if GOT didn’t weather down your incest disgust.


 Ships aside, Jody is always doing her best to protect the boys, the girls, and Sioux Falls. She knows she can’t protect everybody, and knows when to call the boys for help. She works with everyone to let them do what they’re good at and does what she’s good at: being a mom that shoots people.


 I love her because she’s perfect. She’s what feminists want: a balance between badass and feminine. She’s good at her job investigating death, good at parenthood, likes a few “girly” things, likes a few “manly” things. Is pretty, but not sexualized. 

 She’s a real woman. 


I Heart Characters! is a weekly meme hosted by Dani @ PerspectiveOfAWriter to showcase our book blogger love for characters! I post my characters on Thursdays, but feel free to post on whatever day suits you, about characters from whatever media you love (books, movies, K-dramas, television, manga, anime, webtoons, whatever!) and link up on the prompt post. ♡

Crowley, King Of Hell-I Heart Characters


 I’m starting to think I’m too obsessed with Supernatural.

i-heart-characters-spring-featuredI Heart Characters! is a weekly meme hosted by Dani @ Perspective of a Writer to showcase our book blogger love for characters! Post on whatever day suits you, about characters from whatever media you love (books, movies, K-dramas,  television, manga, anime, webtoons,                                                                                          whatever!) and link up on the giveaway post ♡

 If I start writing fanfic, the first thing I will write about is the reincarnation of Crowley in the form of Destiel’s daughter. In all his years as a friend of Team Free Will, the only time anyone expressed joy with his existence was in a photograph with Demon! Dean. (Why do we put exclamation after Demon! and Leviathan!?) Sam the Moose is the only one to express hatred towards him, but he’s the only friend to not receive smiles and hugs. Random hunters that show up for one episode and die get more affection than Crowley. If I lived in the bunker, I’d throw tea parties every time we summoned Crowley.


Crowley fought his way out of being an abandoned human boy named Fergus. He climbed his way up from demon to King Of The Crossroads, and then snached the oppotunity to become King Of Hell when the Princes Of Hell were dead or disinterested. Only to be poisoned with human blood by the Winchesters, turning him into a blood addict with…


 I relate to Crowley because he wants friends, and has friends, for all intents and purposes. But they hate his species and way of life, making him insecure and vulnerable every time his mother taunts him about the Winchesters. And at some point he apparently tortured them but I honestly don’t remember because he’s done good and loyal things for the Winchesters. Sam apparently does remember, and can’t see that he named him Moose out of affection. Crowley loves Team Free Will and desperately wants to be on the team. But he’s King Of Hell and has duties, even if he hates Hell and is bored with being King. 

 If I were an SPN writer, Destiel would give birth to a daughter, who’d gradually start having flashbacks of a place called Hell. The Winchesters would love her and she’d love them. When they realize that she’s Crowley, Dean will be annoyed, Cass will be amused, and Sam will have a character arc of hating Crowley but loving his niece. Because, after all,


 His second or third death worries me. What if he doesn’t come back? What would he even do if he came back? What do Kings Of Hell even do when they retire? Would Team Free Will even respect him, think that he “died” as a joke, and ignore him while he was trying to figure out the rest of his life? But I know what I’d give to have him back.


Smarter Brothers-I Heart Characters

I Heart Characters! is a weekly meme hosted by Dani @ Perspective of a Writer to showcase our book blogger love for characters! I post my characters on Thursdays, but feel free to post on whatever day suits you, about characters from whatever media you love (books, movies, K-dramas, television, manga, anime, webtoons, whatever!) and link up on the prompt post. ♡

This week’s prompt, Beloved Sibling, make me instantly think of Sam Winchester. But this blog’s byline does not say Books, Life, SUPERNATURAL. It says Books, Life, SHERLOCK. But Sam and Mycroft have a lot in common. 



Sam and Mycroft have small but deadly doses of sass they use almost imperceptibly. It doesn’t quite gain them the attention they deserve, but it let’s you know that they’re there.



All of the Holmes and Winchesters have high IQs, even Dean, who pretends he doesn’t read. But Mycroft and sam are arguably smarter than their brothers, and inarguably smarter when it comes to books.



Despite their vast intelligence, Sam and Mycroft aren’t often known to have lives. Sherlock and Dean steal their respective shows, and both brothers are happy to let them. Mycroft hates humans, as he should, and Sam’s just quiet.

I think Sam and Mycroft deserve their own shows, or at least given more time on their brothers’ shows. What does Mycroft actually do? Why did Sam stay with a married woman for a year and then act like it had no impact on him? What was Sam like on the road with Ruby? Where is Mycroft hiding the Daleks? We’ll never know because their brothers steal the show.



When To Call It Quits: A Supernatural Rant


Six Middle Earth movies. Seven Harry Potters. 13 seasons of Supernatural. 14 Doctors in the TARDIS. Spongebob is almost 20.

Yes, only one of those is a book series, with a movie franchise that still continues. 

Have you heard of Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency? It’s a Douglas Adams duology, with an unfinished third book. In 2016 BBC America made two seasons of it, ending it on a cliffhanger. 

Four seasons of Sherlock, each three episodes.

Or Firefly. If you don’t know Firefly, you’re dead to  me.

I love all of these fandoms. But there’s a huge gap in what stays on for years and what gets canceled. I’m tired out by half of them and mourning the other half. LOTR and The Hobbit could’ve been shorter, either by making two movies for each or simply not making them so bloody long. 

Harry Potter peaked in Prisoner Of Azkaban (some say Half-Blood Prince, but meh.) And did it really need two movies for Deathly Hallows? Not to mention The Heck is Crimes Of Grindelwald? I loved Fantastic Beasts, but What Was The Point Of Grindelwald?


Season 13 of Supernatural was boring. The one rewatchable episode was Tombstone. I love that episode. The only way I could love it more is if Destiel came out. But the rest of it was just. 

OK, Scoobynatural. But that felt like an earlier episode. It wasn’t in tune with the rest of the season.

The only reason I’m writing this is that I just finished season 13 and i’m frustrated. I know they will be all right. And they were all right for most of the year! And why is it that the only one that is a real Dad to Jack is Sam? There could’ve been real development with his relationship to Dean and Cass was supposed to be his Dad in the first place and just


The Harry Potter books are brilliant. My personal favourite is Prisoner Of Azkaban, but I did not want it to end there. They were only 13, barely better at magic than Muggles. (Not Hermione) They’re brilliant, because as they get older, the books become darker and more relevant to the wizarding world at large. They matured at the right pace, at the natural pace.

 Do you know how mature Supernatural has gotten? Destiel still haven’t come out yet. Sam pales in comparison to Dean, and people that should be long gone come back. What have they learned in 13 years of killing monsters? How to get comfortable with certain supernatural beings. One angel. One demon. One witch. Two werewolves, one of them a former hunting partner.

 I mean, come on!

I’m the man you’re looking for.

Maybe I’ve been watching too much of it lately. I know them well. I know their catchphrases, how they move, I feel uncomfortable when someone says Dean and Sam, not Sam and Dean. I love their 51 year old car that produce several billion metric tons of CO2 and shouldn’t logically run anymore. 

I know them so well that I know they haven’t developed since getting comfortable with Crowley around season 7, if not earlier. There have been plenty of chances to develop, when Dean was gone, Sam could’ve stepped up and become whatever he wanted, but no, he had to find a girlfriend. Ok, then bloody stay with her! Cut down on the hunting, live your life, and occasionally help Destiel out. What was the bloody point of that? 

Oh, and Dean, all those times someone called Cass your boyfriend? Maybe take that chance to develop. Call him your friggin’ husband. 

 Not to mention more of the same monsters. There’s more out there than ghosts, werewolves and vampires. Maybe look at mythology that Isn’t white? La llorona, Nyami Nyami, you’re missing out on some great stuff. 

 If you’re Eric Kripke and friends and you’re reading this, please contact me at so I can step in and save your bloody show.


Also, it’s my birthday. To make my life easier please donate to my ko-fi 



Daughter Of Smoke & Bone/A Kickass Who’d Have Your Back-I Heart Characters


I have mixed feelings about this, because I want more insight into the cast of Daughter of Smoke And Bone. At the same time, there were major problems with the plot and flow of writing. I suggest you read DOSAB only if you have nothing better to read. Have you read all of John Green’s books first? When was the last time you reread all of the Harry Potters? Did you read Lani Taylor’s better book, Strange The Dreamer and its sequel, Muse Of Nightmares?

I’m not saying it was a bad book. It just wasn’t heartbreakingly good.

Karou: A human raised by chimera. She wished her hair blue, and spends scuppies on trivial things, to the ire of father/ minotaur Brimstone. 

*Spoilers ahead*

She isn’t devoted to just anyone. She leaves her human friend alone for months, although judging by the amount of time she spends with Mik, might be for the best. She abandons her normal life to find her family, travelling across the world for months.

She has to find them. Brimstone may not be the most affectionate father, but he’s the one she’s got. And who wants a human life anyway, when the one that disappeared has magic?

But it isn’t the magic she’s after, though she takes advantage of it. It’s who she is. Who is she? It’s her family. The chimera put Hope in her. She’ll become hope, and earn her name.

*End spoilers*

Like I said, I had some problems with the book. Insta-love, two dimensional characters, and guessable ending. Here’s what I took away from it:

  • Two traits pulled out of a hat does not make a fully fleshed out character! There’s more to life than wanting to paint and being good at killing. You need to spend time with a character and talk to them before you can write them well.
  • I love the Supernatural vibe. The show and the creatures beyond natural. The war put me in the general headspace of angel-demon ammosity, from the perspective of demons. I want more recommendations for Supernatural-type books! Comment with books below! (I haven’t seen all of Supernatural, so no spoilers)
  • Why the heck is the love so insta?!? This never happens in real life, and I don’t understand why it keeps happening in books. I believe in love at first sight, but it doesn’t happen like this!


I Heart Characters! is a weekly meme hosted by Dani @ Perspective of a Writer to showcase our book blogger love for characters! Post on whatever day suits you, about characters from whatever media you love (books, movies, K-dramas, television, manga, anime, webtoons, whatever!) and link up on the giveaway post ♡

Please put your recommendations below and take this survey I want to get more serious about what I post, since I’ve let it slack for a few weeks. Understandable, considering I am homeless, but I’m in a more stable position at a shelter program, and I want to refocus on things that matter to me.

Master King Has Mental Style/ I Heart Characters Catch-Up!

I Heart Characters! is a weekly meme hosted by (me!) Dani @ Perspective of a Writer to showcase our book blogger love for characters! Each week she’ll supply a topic and you’ll supply the character. Post on whatever day suits you, about characters from whatever media you love (books, movies, K-dramas, television, manga, anime, webtoons, whatever!) and link up on Thursday so YOU and others can blog hop and share the character love. ♡

Who’s a good boy?

Stephen King is a bit too hyped for me. Yeah, his books are good, the characters well developed, and the plots fascinating, but what’s the big deal?
I’m still conflicted by my choice. IT is my favourite King book, The Shining my favourite King movie, with Pet Sematary a close second. But I don’t like them for their characters. I love ITs’ artful time transitions, which the movie totally failed at. I love all the creepy, crazy ideas in The Shining, I mean, bloody elevator, homicidal writer, ghost girls, frozen maze, LoveLoveLove. I love the atmosphere and location of Pet Sematary. But the characters, just bleh.
But I feel sorry for Cujo. I was terrified as the next when he was pawing on top of the car, but it wasn’t him. It was zombie rabies. It was sickness. There was just a scared little boy that loved his family, with his personality erased by a rabbit bite.
It wasn’t him. He was taken over.
Mental Case

Lucy in the head with the Sammy

Sam and I went mad around the same time, if you don’t consider the time span in between the original release and my netflix binge last year. It was hard, especially the episode when he’s led into a storehouse by Lucy and starts shooting into air. I may not need Lucifer in me to be crazy, but I recognize in Sam Winchester a kindred soul. A genius overpowered by work. The quiet one that does more than he gets screentime for.
Don’t get me wrong, Cass and Dean are my favorites. But I wish it could be less about Dean and more about the Winchester family and hunters in general.


When I first saw Descendants 2 a week ago, I immediately wanted everything Evie. I could do with less girlyness, but she makes it work. And blue. So much blue. I didn’t know I could be this wanting of a fictional characters wardrobe before. I mean,